My girlfriend just let me know that she’s pregnant. I’m not ready to be a dad and I’m seriously thinking of telling her to get an abortion. I’d even pay for her to have one. What should I do?

None of us should be having sex if we are not ready for what could happen, because sex creates babies. But now that you found out that your girlfriend is pregnant you have a lot to think about. Try not to rush into a decision even if it feels like you need to. Talk with your girlfriend and discuss what your options are. Try to get some good counsel from wise people in your life. Maybe even go to a pregnancy care center where they will discuss the options over with you.

What your girlfriend probably needs right now is your support and knowing that you will be there for her. Most girls don’t want abortions, but often feel pressure from their partners to have one. Abortion is a serious decision and not necessarily over and done with after the procedure is finished. Some people experience post abortion syndrome (depression, anxiety, flashbacks, etc) that affect men as well. Don’t freak out. You’ve got some time to make this decision. Before you decide make sure you have ALL the information on the pros and cons of each possible choice.

The Skinny on Body Image (or Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…)

 Too thin? Too tall? Too fat? Too short? Nose too big? Boobs too small?

Let it go.

If you obsess about your looks, you will just drive yourself crazy. Decide to like being who you are. Consider this: if you don’t like the way your eyes look, think about how your life might be different if you could not see. If you don’t like your big feet, think about not being able to walk.

There is always a blessing to be thankful for. If you focus on the bright side, the things you want to change about yourself will seem less significant.

Yes, every woman can think of things she would like to change about her appearance. Some things are somewhat easy to change (hair color, or overall fitness, for example). Some things are not (like height or the shape of the mouth).

Give yourself permission to not look like a supermodel. Like who you are. Flaws and all.

The trick is to do the best you can with what you have to work with (like picking out stylish clothes that compliment your shape or putting on some make up that highlights your best features) and choosing to let the rest go.

Stand up for yourself in the bathroom:

It seems that women are expected to complain to each other about their perceived flaws. They stand in front of the restroom mirror together commiserating. Don’t get pulled into this self-bashing pity party. Say nothing and just leave. Or if it’s obvious that others are expecting you to say something, choose to say something like “Oh sure, there’s stuff I’d change about myself if I could, but I can’t, so I’ve stopped letting it drive me nuts.”

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